As promised, during the next few weeks, we will have experts from different works talking about a lot of subjects. Today, I have Sandy Kauffman who is a love coach and in her article, she talks about some practical tips to make you feel better while you are alone at home.
After over 3 weeks of confinement, are you finding yourself feeling more emotional and/or anxious? Please know that it is absolutely normal to feel what you are feeling. Your reaction mechanisms related to forced isolation are in full swing: the fear of loneliness, the anxiety of an uncertain future or even a feeling of social abandonment.
Welcome your emotions
Emotions are psychological reactions of your body and keeping yourself calm and composed is possible:
- Breathing in and out by whistling calms the vagus nerve and releases emotional stress.
- Try the ECAP method (demonstration with Sandy) which allows you to feel more rooted.
- If you’re anxious, you can calm your inner agitation by reconnecting to the present moment through your 5 senses:
- Identify 5 things you see: it could be a pen, a dot on your ceiling, anything in your current surrounding
- Identify 4 things you can touch: your hair, the pillow, your face or the floor under your feet
- Identify 3 things you can hear: sound from outside, your background, music, TV
- Identify 2 things you can smell: a perfume you use, the fabric softener, something from the kitchen.
- Identify 1 thing you can taste: drink or eat something
- Compensating for social isolation – a self-massage or just making sure you continue to interact with friends and family over phone calls and video meetings
- Feeling needed – By helping someone or being useful you reconnect with the energy of love and come out of negativity. See how you can offer help: maybe your elderly neighbor, checking up on friends, sewing masks or just being an active listener.
An influx of information
Undoubtedly, at this point in time, we are overburdened with information, most of which is alarming to our brains. All this information is overloading the brain, the brain needs to process this new data along with your existing reflections, this could lead to ruminant thoughts and can be the onset of anxiety.
- Try to decrease the amount of information you consume along with identifying trusted sources that you can repeatedly go to.
- Increase your ability to filter the information by practicing meditation or by getting involved in sports.
Try the following Kundalani exercise in case of excess negativity:
Ask yourself the right Qs
Your brain is an extraordinary tool that does everything it can to answer your questions or to confirm your assertions with examples. To start seeing this confinement as an opportunity, you need to ask the right Qs:
- For instance, rather than saying “It’s hard living like this”, ask yourself what you’ve really wanted to do for long. You will be surprised at all the possibilities, who knows you might end up starting a new project, you can do some groundwork on your current relationship, you could start planning your next trip or simply look at how to better your wellness routine.
- Instead of “not looking” for the right person, why not use this time to look for the right one? There are many potential avenues when you decide to positively open up. (think video conferencing, online dating, group online activities, and events)
Advantages of Isolation
- Being confined is a real opportunity to get to know your partner without being guided only by the chemistry of attraction which is stronger when you actually meet the person (pheromone effect). This situation allows you to get to know someone on an intellectual level, it allows you to see if he/she shares the same values as you do. (For instance, what is his attitude towards the pandemic, is he a relationship-driven person among many other aspects…)
- Being confined also allows you to face your relationship issues. This time in crisis presents itself as an opportunity to redefine what is important to you, and to take the time to assess and understand your patterns in love. This is an essential step to understand and avoid pitfalls, to allow you to realize your dream of being happy in a relationship.
Try some of these techniques and let us know in the comments sections if things are working out for you, also feel free to ask any questions that you may have.
Sandy Kauffman is a love coach and her passion is to accompany women to regain their serenity for them to be happier with themselves and in their relationships. She uses two primary methods: mental coaching on the one hand and etiopsychology on the other, a psycho-physical approach that allows you to work on your own past and more so on your love patterns. For personal sessions, you can contact her on her website and for regular tips and exercises, you can follow her on her IG page.
Stay tuned for more resources, we have some great content lined up with experts in various fields – marketing gurus, coaches, wellness experts, chefs, and teachers to get you through this tough time. Stay safe and healthy! Make the most of your quarantine.