My Expat diaries: Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day is and will be a foreign concept to me. Growing up (in India), we didn’t know there existed special days like this. But hey, for everyone that I know we grew up celebrating and idolizing our mothers. I come from the generation, where are fathers were demanding but our mothers had changed – this generation of women were fierce! Truth, be told, they changed the “desi-narrative” and the definitions of an ideal daughter, wife and mother.

My Mother

They could do everything – and they believed they could! My mother raised both my sister and I, alone, for the most part. My father was travelling, he had too many transfers during the peak of his career and my mother took a brave decision of staying put in Delhi in order to keep our lives more consistent, more stable.

Every decision has consequences – loneliness, shouldering all the responsibilities, a full-time job, raising children… If you’ve been wondering how I multitask like a pro – well I got it from my mamma. Guess, it’s in my gene pool 😉 A very important thing that this generation left out and suffered with was – taking care of themselves. Self-love remained alien for a long time, I gave my mom a taste of it when we took a vacation to a wellness retreat this April.

Here’s the thing with me as a daughter –

  • If I had to buy my mother a gift, I wouldn’t wait for Mother’s Day – I will just go ahead and buy it.
  • If spending time together with your mother is considered a gift – then I can honestly say that I have never missed a single opportunity of doing that up until now.

The best part, she gets it, she is on social media, and she knows that people plaster pictures all over their feeds and grams, but this does not bother her. We’ve forgotten this day too many times and we’ve also tried to “use” it to get out of stuff (it’s Mother’s Day mom OR don’t do this today) – I gladly confirm, on both of those occasions she remained unmoved. 😉

If I send her flowers or a gift on Mother’s Day, she will call me the minute the delivery guy drops of the package – “What is the occasion? Why do you keep wasting money? You should have asked me what I wanted.” If I ask her, she doesn’t give me a firm answer either.

I hang up and usually say, you’re welcome! That’s our sweet Mother’s Day tradition!

Switching gears – Me, the mommy

Now, let’s get on to the role of a mother to an 11-year-old who is growing up with western traditions. I sometimes feel we (me and my husband) confuse her – while I love celebration in general, my husband is a little perturbed with her love (and effort) towards Halloween and Christmas as compared to Holi and Diwali. I think we’ve landed into our sweet spot where we just celebrate everything! It’s my way, OR; there is no…OR! 😉

Well, it is what it is – it’s not the easiest to in still each and every tradition that we grew up with; our surroundings were way different than hers are!

Moving on to Mother’s Day in our house; after this early morning call with my mother 😉, I always get a handmade gift from my daughter. And I love it! I also always display it proudly on my feed! (*guilty*)

I mean it probably wouldn’t have even bothered me if this was not “sucha thing” like when I was growing up – but heart of hearts I do wait for that lil gesture of love from my baby!

And this year, she did the grown-up thing of creating a gift basket with all the things that I love. I am so touched, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree 😊

What does Mother’s Day mean to you? How do you guys celebrate (or ignore) it! Tell me in the comments below.

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To read posts from April, click here

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